Paul Jay's Ponderings

Rumor has it that Google has been secretly developing some method for goat teleportation. Knowing Google, I suppose they actually found an app for that.


And frankly, I don't blame them.

Labels: goats, google, lol, teleportation

...just simply shows how much my reality sucks. But for some strange reason I had a dream that I woke up from that was really cool, and I actually remembered it. Maybe it was a bit immature in content, but I actually had some fun. I'll give a loose summary though just because it's funny.

It starts out that I'm going to some store, and I'm walking from my car in the parking lot. It's one of those big box sort of stores with a garden center. It was semi-busy that day, so I had to park far out to get there. But then I run into two people that seemed vaguely familiar. Then it hit me, they were some friends from junior high school. Like what the hell, I haven't heard from them forever. One was this chick I really liked (a crush even), and the other was this dude I knew. And then the girl saw me, and said "you remember who I am?" And she said something about being around in high school. But I knew that was a lie, and said "No. Maybe one or two classes. (After which she looked annoyed.) But hell yeah! I think I know you from Benny!" (That's the junior high, btw.) So then I was following her around trying to catch up on what's been going on. But then the dude she was with started running, and the chick revealed that she had a large shark-shaped dagger. (Or was it a bowie knife? Regardless, it was large and ridiculous.)

This is where the dream got really wierd and funny. Because I was trying to keep up and figure out what the hell was going on. While this chick apparantly wants to do something to this other dude with a shark-knife. (lol) But I wasn't in the mood to see any violence (since I considered myself a friend to both), so I was about ready to stop the girl from using the knife. And she still looked hot, so confronting her was - well you know - excuse for physical contact? (giggity) Somehow in my dream, I still couldn't run worth a damn. But then channeled something in order to keep up, and did one of anime-like energy flying deals. It wasn't anything too powerful, since I was only able to keep up and fly to about 20 ft. Which surprised her. And I was laughing and having a good time of it. But then instead of being completely amazed (but still seeming surprised I had that ability), she started doing the funny flying stuff too. So I said "you too?" like I was expecting that. Yet hers wasn't as accomplished as mine. (Or she was hiding the ability. Hard to tell really. Damn I watch too many cartoons.) And we bounced around chasing and engaging in some stupid banter I fail to recall. And yet I still was able to be the klutz, just as I was in the real past. I was trying to show off after landing on an industrial shelving unit in the gardening area. So I used the flying to do a backflip back onto the ground, and only succeeded in landing on the back of my head. But it didn't hurt in the dream, because I was still floaty due to the odd power I channeled. Thus I was laughing about it. And there was some funny comment by some old lady walking by. (Something about having powers, and that's how I use them?) Sucks that I can't remember the details, because that's what was really funny about it.

Then I woke up, because there was some loud noise outside. Which sucked, because I wanted the dream to continue. But in a way it was good (bittersweet?) because I still had a chance to remember some of it. And since I had fun in la-la land, at least I was in a semi-good mood.

So why is it that reality sucks in comparison?

• I'm never quite as young as I seem to be in the dream.
• I'm in a lot better health and more energetic in the dream.
• I don't get to see old friends as often as I like in reality.
• If I do see people I knew from way-back, most are either too busy or can't remember who the heck I am.
• The really wierd shit just doesn't happen as much.
• In dreams, I don't have to worry about annoying and boring mundane shit like money getting in the way. So there's more real freedom than in reality.
  
• And I don't get the really cool energy-channeling powers like in anime or those funky old kung-fu movies.
  

Labels: dream, fun, happy, lol, superpowers, wierd

I read about this on slashdot, but since the comment feature is broken again... Posting here instead.

Somehow I picture the movie being a cross between Deep Impact, Armageddon, Mars Attacks, and the latest version of Land of The Lost movie. The campier the better, the only way to go wrong with an Asteroids title (considering how the game is) is to try and be serious about it. I suspect and expect a comedy movie. Pew Pew! OMG! There's still more!

Labels: asteroids, lol, movie

Ok, that's a bit extreme of a title. But yeah, Target of all places now has taken an icon from a well known internet meme and is now using it as part of their in-store marketing materials. Anyhow, if you're somehow still not aware of the meme, here's a picture for your reference:



But yeah, Target stores have the Domo-Kun character everywhere around. (Maybe I'm late on this, but I don't go shopping all the time.) I think it's funny if not hilarious, because the only thing I can associate it with is that crazy internet meme.

Labels: domo-kun, kitten, lol, retail, Target

Anyhow, regardless of how he meant it, there's some truth behind it. Everybody's to focused on how gussied up and pretty Palin is and what nice tatas she has or what other deviant thoughts her visage inspires (For us guys at least. Yeah she is a MILF/cougar in looks, so why deny it.) But by focusing only on her physical appearance, the media seems to forget some of the crazy stuff in her political stances and background. (Abortion stance, hints of abuse of power, that kind of stuff.) Those kind of things might be ok for Alaska, where it's mostly backwoods type country. (Not like she's going to be laying down state law heavy if someone does the contrary to what she wants in Nunaavut or whatever. More likely than not the authorities would never know, and if they do, it's just too much ground to cover.) But if she tries to back-up those positions behind some of the wackier ideals on the national or world scene, I don't think simply waving those nice plump tatas in peoples faces will go that far.

Guys just need to think about her stance on the issues with the big head, not the little one.

Labels: lol, nice, obama, palin, pig